Maybe my next door neighbor is an axe murderer. No, not my real next door neighbor in my apartment building. The guy in the house next to it. I never see him except for late at night when I am throwing out the trash and he is fixing his cars. He has three in his backyard. An old Ford Explorer, a Nissan Xterra and there is a Scion that seems to be changing colors (or maybe I am the crazy one). If I had his yard, though, it would be a helluva lot more decorated. I guess you can't ask a lot from an axe murderer.
His yard is full of dirt and weeds. The cars are over a pile of round rocks, because GOD FORBID they get dirty with actual dirt. There is an ugly ass green plastic picnic table in the very back behind the small shed (creepy) with cobwebs all over it and an ash tray on top. There are flowery cushions on the two chairs beside the four sided table. He is a man and as I mentioned probably a psycho killer so again, what can I expect. He may use the table for late night questioning between him and his victim? My walls aren't that thick though, so I would probably be able to hear that.
If I had a yard like that, oh the things I could do. Yesterday, I was walking with one of the twins going back to the car from a wonderful stroll on Melrose. There was a dinner party going on at one of the houses that was totally blocked off. Just the sound of it sounded fancy. I immediately imagined chinese lanterns and tea lights everywhere. We could hear the *clink* of fancy silverware and almost just taste the champagne we imagined they were pouring. It was probably Moet, Dom, or Crystal, all of which I have been lucky enough to try. Sigh. There seemed to have been some music in the background, I think it was classical music. They probably had a nice wooden table outside with an umbrella and perfectly groomed pillows on their chairs. I imagine it wasn't a black tie affair, probably a garden party. As we looked into the driveway, it was gated with a Porsche Cayenne, black and clean, neatly parked on the gracefully laid bricks. Must be the life. That's all I want. A seemingly small house with a front and backyard to have garden parties. In the back would be a hammock over perfectly groomed grass. The pillows on the hammock would be fluffy velvet and it would be big enough for me to share with my love (who is now just a mans body without a face) and small enough for me to reach over to grab my glass of wine or coffee and pick up the dog or cat to sit with me and take a (probably much needed at that point) nap.
Yes, that's all I want. Love, great friends and family always around, a 2 million dollar house, a garden party, a dog, a cat, and a nice little car.
On another note, I just saw a hornet outside while I was checking the mail. I thought Oh lucky day! Maybe I will get stung by a hornet, be in such pain I need to go to the ER and meet a doctor. Minus the doctor and ER part, that would just be the icing on my shit cake, don't ya think?
Applied for about 17 million jobs this morning. Crossing fingers, maybe I'll get a phone call. Now, it's time to eat something and pull myself together for the gym. Toodles.
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