When it Comes to Men...

...women are schmucks.

But men are just schmucks in general. For them it is a bad term, for us it just means when we are in love, we are dumb.

Let me take you a ride through my "love train":

1. Last week I threw up 3 times.
2. I went through a night where I only slept for 3 hours.
3. Went through 2 bottles of champagne (on separate nights).
4. After said bottles of champagne, I didn't feel like any of the pain went away.
5. Became a drunkard with my girlfriends who were proud of me for doing what I did even though I was visibly sad and looked like a bitter bitch, looking like I wanted to be alone drinking at the bar, leading me to think, what the fuck did I let this person do to me? This is not me. I am the good one, the happy one, the one who enjoys everything in life. 
6. I went through all of Kelly Clarkson's songs. Pretty much all of them applied to me in some way. Yes, from all 3 albums. And yes the 2nd one did not get that much critical acclaim, but I still listen to it and I <3 it.
7. After Kelly, I went on to go through my entire iTunes library to make a playlist appropriately titled "UGH" which was on repeat at the gym the whole week.
8. The man who put me through all of this shit decided it was okay to talk to me after I told him it was over.
9. Stupidly, and much too soon to tell, I thought he had changed his tune.
10. Realized I was effing stupid for believing that fact and therefore, ran off my whole days caloric intake at the gym and listened to my "UGH" playlist which has grown into a Monster as opposed to its younger sibling, the Goblin. And the list is still growing.
11. I realized I was way too good to let anyone get to me like this.  Maybe next week. Baby steps. Too soon.

In other news, I did take a brief shopping trip with my lovely roommate where I realized I did in fact fit into a small in everything, unless I was trying on a zip up dress (boobs). I left with some short shorts, a tank, and a neon and gray striped off the shoulder t-shirt which is quite possibly the most comfortable piece of clothing I have ever put on my body. Seriously if you can't figure out what to wear, go with an off the shoulder. Those tops are always in fashion (or maybe I have just made it that way) and pretty damn comfy to boot.

We then meandered our way to our friends birthday house party at his massive kingdom off of Melrose where I drowned myself in Bud Light, Tequila and Jello Shots.

Yay, love.